By Angela Lindeman
You know the deal….you walk into any store anywhere, and you see hearts, candy, teddy bears, and flowers abound. I don’t know about you, but it never felt welcoming to me. It never felt like I belonged. I mean, realistically, how do you celebrate a holiday centered around love if YOUR kind of love is never reflected in what you see around you. How do you participate in something geared mainly toward heterosexual and monogamous people or romantic people for that matter?
I’ve never been extremely romantic in my relationships. I know many can be that way, but it was never really my thing. Also, being polyamorous presented another challenge. Do you choose ONE Valentine or are they all your Valentines? I guess for those of us that don’t fall under the traditional, socially recognized relationship style, you have to find your own ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
I think the first thing to do, is to decide that Valentine’s Day does not belong to any one person or group. Valentine’s Day is for love in general, and there are so many kinds of love and people we love. We can celebrate our platonic love that we have for our close friends with a “Pal-entine’s Day” event or gathering. Our family members may also be others we want to include on our Valentine list. It’s quite possible our closest and most familiar Valentine deserving our love and attention is ourselves! So order that take-out, run yourself a bubble bath, watch a favorite movie or enjoy a decadent dessert. No one says Valentine’s Day requires more than one person.
Lastly, if your romantic love doesn’t look like the romance in a hallmark movie, fret not! No one makes the rules for Valentine’s Day. Go out for dinner if you’re comfortable out together or cook dinner at home with whoever your sweetheart is. If you can’t find a card that speaks to your relationship, make one! Handmade gifts no matter how simple or sophisticated are always wonderful. Stream a movie that might speak to you and yours. Remember that Valentine’s Day is about love, ALL LOVE, and ALL LOVE IS GOOD LOVE.
Here are some movie suggestions from Angela
- The Duke of Burgundy
- Gods Own Country
- I Can’t Think Straight
- Kate Bernstein is a Queer and Pleasant Danger
- Looking for Langston
- Maurice
- Paris Was a Woman
- Personal Shopper
- Tiny and Ruby: Hell Divin’ Women
- Tom of Finland